August 19, 2011

Drugs and Texting

If you were considering taking drugs, and then attempting to have a conversation via text...DON'T. It always ends badly. Always.
I recently went to the dentist. My biggest fear on the planet. If given a choice between the dentist or open heart surgery...I would choose the surgery every time. No joke. So, when I went in to get two measly, little fillings this week, I had to dope myself up on anti-anxiety drugs. No, I didn't go raid someone's medicine cabinet, they were prescribed to me by the dentist. Three little blue pills. I thought they would take the edge off my anxiety, but instead they turned me into a walking (barely), talking (barely) comedy act. According to my dear older sister, I was a sight to behold as I stumbled and slurred my way to the dental office (no I did not drive myself). Not that I'm complaining. The whole experience is a blur, which is totally fine with me. It's kind of hard to get scared when you're barely conscious!
However, I then tried to have a conversation with my loving husband through texting. It was not too you can see. The translations are in parenthesis for your benefit.

Graham: You done?
Me: Yesh (yes)
Graham: Good! It wasn't that bad was it?
Me: I don't kneo. my brains jnsjt functioninf (I don't know. My brain isn't functioning)
Graham: That's a good thing!
Me: But in still living. N. I'll (But I'm still living. not entirely sure what the second part means...)
Graham: What? Go to bed!
Me: What does that mewn? (What does that mean?)
Graham: You can not spell, you are obviously drugged, you need a nap!)
Me: Balahg...whatqva (Balahg...whatever!)

See what I mean...don't try this at home folks. And he must have been right, because I went home and slept for five hours!

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