April 05, 2012

Can I Just Hide My Head in the Sand??

When Graham and I decided to move back into my parents while I finished up my schooling, one of the biggest reasons that I was excited to return to the "homestead" was to be able to live with my G'pa again. If you've met Grandpa J, then you'll know why. Every day is entertaining when he's around. Take this story for example:

Those who know the handsome fella' pictured above know that he's hard of hearing. He's almost 92 years old, and his lack of hearing is the only "problem" that he has. He's healthier than me, at nearly four times my age. Unfortunately, Grandpa's hearing is a source of much frustration for him. As such, I've become his official "translator," whenever someone leaves a message on his answering machine that he can't understand. This is a regular occurrence for the two of us, so when Grandpa asked me to come over to his "wing" of the house and interpret a message for him, I hopped on over thinking nothing of it. 
This is where the "regular" ended.
I played back the message, and listened in horror as the woman on the other end began her spiel about a particular "male enhancement" drug. 
Oh crap.
I panicked, thinking, "how do I explain the contents of this message to my NINETY-ONE year old grandpa?"
So I did the only thing that I knew how to do and immediately deleted the message. 
I quickly assured my grandpa that it was merely a salesperson trying to sell him some drugs, thinking that would be the end of it. Now, I must get my curiosity from my grandpa, because this explanation did not appease him. He kept asking me questions:
"Was it an herbal supplement, because I called about one of those?" 
"No, Grandpa."
"Well, then what kind of drug was it?"
"I don't know, Grandpa."
"Well then why did you delete the message?"
"Just because, Grandpa." 
I knew this wasn't going to be the end of the questioning, and I was NOT about to explain to him what the message had been about. So, I just assured him it was nothing important, and got the HECK out of there before my red face gave away my obvious embarrassment. 

The good news is that Grandpa's peach tree is blossoming beautifully this spring. I can't wait for fresh peaches. But, in the mean time...I'm dreading the next time I hear:
"Hey Whit, I've got a new message that I just can't understand. Can you come listen to it for me?" 
Because I might just say, "No!"

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