September 18, 2012

A Confession

My husband always tells me that one of the main reasons that he married me is because (in his mind) I'm "smart." Well crap...I sure do have him fooled. Unfortunately, while I possess the necessary skills that allowed me to be successful in school, I'm unfortunately lacking in a very basic human skill that everyone SHOULD be born with: common sense. Seriously. I just don't have it. I do really stupid things...all the time.
Take this little chestnut for example:
I was driving to work yesterday. While that seems like an easy task, it is actually quite difficult for the "common sense challenged" folks like me. I try to do WAY too much while driving, which often results in far too many close calls. I put on mascara, eat breakfast, talk on my phone, put on strappy shoes. You name it. I do it.
See? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
So, back to yesterday. I decided that it would be an intelligent move to adjust my seat while driving down a hill (for those that have common sense, they will see the immediate problem with this situation, and for those that don't see the problem in're probably a little like me). While it was my intention to move forward an inch or so...that is not what happened. Let's just say that a steep hill and a well greased chair are a very dangerous combination, because the second that I released the latch on my seat...I SHOT forward at a speed that was better suited to a rocket launcher. Seriously. I FLEW. Well, this forced my foot into the brake, which brought my car to an abrupt and immediate stop, which then slammed me into my horn. Imagine it. Just for a second: me...flying forward, slamming on the brakes, and sprawling on my horn. Oh man, what an idiot!
I won't even tell you about the time that I decided it would be smart to dump the left over milk from my cereal out of my open car door while driving. Yeah. I'm that bad.
But hey, the first step to recovery is confessing your shortcomings...right? Can one LEARN common sense? I sure hope so.

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