April 03, 2014

The 2/3 Theory

The 2/3 Theory.
What, you've never heard of it? It's very scientific. Based on a whole slew of empirical data collected over centuries.
Hypothesis. Experimentation. Theory.
Okay that's I lie. I made it up.
But it should be a theory that everyone subscribes to.
Let me explain it to you in the form of a hypothetical situation:
You wake up one morning, to the screeching peals of your alarm, and slap the snooze button in aggravation. You just need ten more minutes of sleep, and you'll be good. Unfortunately, you hit the "off" button instead, and wake up in a panic thirty minutes later. You're behind schedule, and you're going to have to hurry along your morning routine if you hope to make it to work in time. Now you have a decision to make. There are three parts to every girl's routine. What part of your beauty regimen are you going to have to omit?

1. Hair?
2. Makeup?
3. Or a well-thought out, killer outfit?

Decisions, decisions.
Enter, The 2/3 Theory.
Here it is. In all it's glory.
As long as you have two out of the three in check, you can walk out the door with your held high and your hips a-swaying.
No time to do your hair?
Fine. Swipe on some eyeliner, mascara, and blush. Put on some skinny jeans, flats and a statement necklace, and no one will notice the messy bun on top of your head that you didn't even have time to brush. In fact, it will look like a deliberate beauty decision.
Exhibit A:
Makeup's a no-go?
No biggie. Style your hair in some nice, thick curls, throw on a cute sun dress and sandals and you're sitting pretty. Note: in this scenario (you know, sans makeup) you have to put on mascara. You just have to. Because everyone knows that every female (unless she's blessed with God-given, natural beauty, and in that case we all hate her) could benefit from just a smidge of mascara.
Exhibit B:
Can't decide on an outfit?
Don't even sweat it. Your hair and makeup are on point, so there is no need to fret. While I am of the opinion that a good outfit will always trump hair and makeup in order of importance, a crappy outfit can STILL work if you apply the 2/3 Theory. It's risky, but doable. As long as your hair and makeup are under control, you're good to go. Just don't, for the love of all that's holy, leave the house in pajamas. If you enter that territory, even the 2/3 Theory can't save you. But leggings or yoga pants paired with a flowy top, a sleek hair-do and some minimal make-up can make you look refreshed and relaxed in a good way.
Exhibit C:
Seriously. Give the theory a shot the next time you're running late. You can thank me when it saves your life. And I'll say, "you're welcome."

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