Penny

I've been putting this post off for over three weeks now.
Probably because I needed that long to prepare myself for it.
But I'm ready now.
I think.
Penny came to us in a less than conventional way.
We got her for $50 from a woman selling puppies in front of Wal Mart when I was 10 years old. It was a spontaneous purchase, one that was both unplanned and unwelcome...but after setting eyes on her, there was no going back. My mom and all of my sisters had fallen in love with the little ball of fluff, and she had to come home with us. There was no question about it.
Penny was our "family" dog, but everyone knew that she was MINE. That's because she loved me best, and the feeling was mutual. She slept in my bed with me every night until the day that I got married and moved out. She was my protector, my playmate, and my friend.
And I miss her terribly.

On April 11th, my mom and I decided that it was time to put Penny down. We were both able to be with her when she passed, and as HARD as it was, I'm grateful that I was able to hold my girl in her last moments of life. It was a sweet moment for me. Penny's health had been declining pretty steadily for the last year or so. By the time we put her down, she had lost her ability to hear, see, and even stand. She was often disoriented, and didn't like to be pet. It made her anxious. When we took her into the vet, we were able to spend a few minutes with her before they put her down. 

She let me hold her. 

For the first time in probably over a year, she cuddled up to me, and just let me love on her. I'm so grateful for that memory, and it did a lot to ease the heartache of the moment. My mom and I shared some of our fondest memories of our Penny girl, and then it was time. We buried her in my grandpa's garden and said a prayer of gratitude that we were able to enjoy her sweet spirit in our home for the last 17 years. 

She was, truly, the best dog, and I think I will miss her forever. There are very few memories in my mind that do not include Penny in them. She was a fixture in my life, and her passing has left a hole that I fear will never be filled. She was my baby and I'm grateful to have had her in my life for as long as I did. I love you, Penny, and I will miss you everyday.